


For More Than Just Tonight

by adevotedreader



Series: Lose Control [2]
Category: Star Trek (2009), Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Forbidden, Gay Male Character, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Male Slash, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-15
Updated: 2012-03-15
Packaged: 2017-11-02 00:13:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/362865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adevotedreader/pseuds/adevotedreader
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe there was something more between them. Perhaps this could last.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For More Than Just Tonight

"Don't let me go."

It was a soft whisper in an otherwise silent room. Not even the sound of breathing was heard. It was a childish plea that neither person could in good conscience agree to. There was just too much that was between them. Too many odds that would have to be beaten. There was every chance that this would not end well, and yet here they were again. The first time that they had come together could have been called a fluke. The second could be called an anomaly, but by the third time it was very obvious that there was more than just lust at work here. If it had been simple desire that drove them together then the first time that they had sex it would have gotten out of their system.

No. This was something more. Something that could be the undoing of their sanity, their friendship, and their careers. Interpersonal relations were not strictly against code, but having a male interpersonal relationship between the captain and the first officer would not sit well with anyone.

"As of this moment I have no intention of leaving, however, we cannot continue in such a fashion as this."

"Could you at least lie to me?"

There was a sigh. It would not be a large lie, and Spock was technically only half Vulcan so it would not be against any rules, real or otherwise.

"I do not lie. However, if it would appease you, I do not wish to let you go."

"And yet."

"Indeed."

The Vulcan was a warm comfort that Kirk knew he would miss once he left. The first time they had sex it had been hurried and rushed. The decision to continue had been mutual, although at the time it had been at the consent of both that there would be no next time; just for tonight. That hadn't worked out. Losing control in each other was ecstasy. Relinquishing the everyday stress with someone who could understand and empathize was cathartic, and put both parties in a better mood then they would otherwise be.

"I believe that your doctor friend is suspicious of our behavior as of late." Kirk gave a small laugh. Bones had been giving him some very meaningful looks lately and all when Spock was around.

"That would be because Bones has two eyes and can put two and two together. Although the rest of the crew only know me from my captaincy, Bones has known me since I entered Starfleet. I have never been without a bed partner for long, regardless of working relationships. Personally I think that he is just jealous that I can hook up with someone and then work with them on some level. There is a trick though. You have to make it clear that this is only for tonight; nothing will come of this, and both parties agree. Physical satisfaction only."

Talking about his previous escapades brought a frown to Kirk's face. That was how this had started out as well. It was just tonight. There would be no more. Perhaps his foolproof method was not without fault. Then again it had never failed him before. It was fitting that while Kirk beat the program that worked for Spock, Spock beat the program that worked for Kirk. Two peas in one pod. An oddly shaped and dysfunctional pod, but a pod all the same.

"Then why has McCoy been sneaking around your quarters and asking where we are in our brief absences from the bridge?"

"I would say that perhaps he thinks that I like you, and decided to have my wicked way with you."

"Do you?"

"Do I what?"

"'Like me.'"

Kirk turned around in the embrace that Spock had had him in. This was not something that could be taken lightly.

"I do."

"The possible ramifications that could arise should someone discover that our relationship has become more than that of mere friends would be-"

"Very bad. I get it Spock, but you want to know something. There is nothing that I can do to stop my feelings. Not all of us are trained to keep our feelings hidden at all times. Yes I like you, but that doesn't mean that I can't control myself. The fact that you would even ask me that says wonders about what you think of me. Do you truly believe that I would sleep with you, not once, but three times if I didn't care for you in some form?"

The Vulcan's face was unreadable.

"Well if that is what you think then I will have to ask you to leave my quarters." The happy feeling that had taken place in Kirk's chest was quite suddenly gone. Before the conversation the post coital bliss had been a high of itself. During the conversation it had been leveling off to normal happy. Before Kirk could at least pretend that there would be some hope for them someday, or at the very least that he could sleep with Spock again. Now any thoughts he had been entertaining were promptly thrown out. He knew that everyone thought he was quite a playboy, but the idea that Spock thought that he just wanted to sleep with him hurt in a way that Kirk was not familiar with.

"I do not. I believe that had you any respect for either myself or yourself then you would not have even entertained the thought of a physical relationship with me if you had no feelings for me. To continue on in spite of potential adversity shows that you care for me."

"Do you…like me?"

"I harbor an interest in you that I am unable to suppress no matter how much I endeavor to."

"That would be a yes then." A happy light lit the Vulcan's dark eyes.

"Yes Jim."

Everything was not alright between them. There would always be the question of whether or not they should continue in their relationship, but for now it was alright. It wasn't just for tonight right now. No and if Jim had his way then it would be tonight and every night afterwards. That was the impossible dream, but right now, basking in the warmth of Spock's embrace and the joy at being held by someone that he cared for, and could one day love, Jim didn't care. After all, he reasoned, there were only win-win scenarios for this twist of fate. He could worry about their problems later. He would wonder what could happen to his tenure as captain on the Enterprise the next morning. In this moment all he had to think about was shifting so as much of him was touching Spock as was possible. It was tonight now and that was all that mattered. With that thought in mind, Kirk slipped into a deep sleep with the echoing sounds of his partners breaths across his neck.


End file.
